Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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