Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
