this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
