Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
