I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
