I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got inside last night via doggy door
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
