this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize