her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
