HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
