fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
