how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The uberlube is also flammable
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
