its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just pee around me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
