Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
