i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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