Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
