i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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