$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
