Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
