I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
