Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
