take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
