I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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