btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
