i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she told me i tasted like america
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
