hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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