The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
