Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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