fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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