so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
