girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
