This girl is more easily done than said...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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