youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize