Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
