where am i from again
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
