I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
