In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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