So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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