in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
