Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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