did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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