I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
