Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
