My hand turned me down
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
