That's when you crack a 10am beer
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize