You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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