after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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