Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
