I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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