At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
