yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
