I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
