the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
