its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it's like iHOP with fire
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
