Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
