I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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