Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
