This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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