Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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