I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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