Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i love accidental penises.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
