my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
