meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize