I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
