well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
