Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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