Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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