I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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