You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize