Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
