As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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